The Power of Listening: A Lesson from "Never Split the Difference"

One of the most impactful techniques I’ve learned in my journey is the art of mirroring. This was taught to me by one of my mentors, who emphasized the importance of being a good listener rather than the one who talks the most. Recently, I came across the same technique in the book Never Split the Difference.

The book highlights, "Repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said. Of the entirety of the FBI’s hostage negotiation skill set, mirroring is the closest one gets to a Jedi mind trick. Simple and yet uncannily effective. By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain the process of connecting."

This technique has helped me in networking and learning from others' stories. By mirroring what people say, you show that you’re truly listening, making them feel heard and comfortable. As a result, they’re likely to open up even more and share deeper insights.

Being open-minded and genuinely listening to others can teach us so much. Everyone has their own unique story, and sometimes these stories offer new perspectives, insights, or ideas that we might not have considered before.

So, next time you’re in a conversation, try repeating the last few words of what the other person said. It might just lead to a more meaningful and enlightening exchange.